I was supposed to see Paul in the evening, but he phoned just beforehand and said he had a cold and couldn't see me. So I felt very disappointed, and then I thought 'Well, I'll take him some grapes and stuff to cheer him up.' So I bought a whole picnic of lovely cold food and books and - oh, it makes me bitter when I remember. Anyway, I rang the bell and he came to the door in just trousers and he looked rather annoyed at first, then he smiled in a rather sinister way and said, 'Ah, Emily, just what we wanted, some company.'
And afterwards he led me through to the room and – there was
one more woman. All undressed and she had a dreadful plastic
dildo-thing in her hand. I type of choked and also hurried back
however Paul caught me and Held me there, turned me around and
kissed me, as well as was very mild as well as said, ‘No, don’t mind
her, return,’ Then he claimed, ‘Anne, this is your brand-new
buddy,’ and this awful dykey woman came by to me
as well as place her arms around me also, while Paul type of
held me so I couldn’t go.
They both drew my garments off and she maintained obstructing her
busts in my face and it was really bad. Then Paul held
my arms up behind my back so it really hurt while this
actually difficult lady, I’m sure she was a lesbian – really felt all
down my front as well as … and also, you know, with her fingers …
put her fingers inside me.
I cannot rather remember exactly what happened then yet the following
point I understood I got on the bed – I think Paul had was
making love to me and I assumed she ‘d vanished, however then
she re-emerged as well as. Well if you should know she kind of sat
down over my face, I indicate she was nude as well as everything and also
she was all wet, and after that Paul was screwing me and claiming
in this soft voice, ‘You have to draw her, Emily. Go on. Go
on, be nice to Anne.’
I don't think I'm a lesbian. I can't be a lesbian, can I? It wasn't my fault, I mean it was sort of rape, but if I'm honest with myself, I have to admit the really awful thing - that I did like it, the woman and everything. I mean I actually enjoyed it!